I Want To Go To The EDC

So after watching a few hilarious animated videos, I noticed you can make them yourself just by typing your dialogue. It seemed easy and fun, so I signed up.

Basically, everything on Xtranormal runs on a point system. So you choose your setting, characters, sounds, accents, etc... and then you type in your script/dialogue and the computer voices are generated. The video then racks up a total point value which determines how much your flick will cost to create. You get 300 points at sign up, which means I could make one free movie.

I was just playing around with it, and made a video in under 15 minutes. I decided, what the hell, I'll use it and post it to my youtube account. Little did I know that my video would get tons of views! Of course, my video is probably only funny to those involved in the southern california rave scene, but being how mainstream that is these days I guess that's a sizeable audience.



Anyway, in less than two days since creation, I am at 3,700 views. That's more views than all my other videos combined to date... and this all happened in less than 48 hours. So thanks to all the ravers out there for sharing my creation.

Pauly's World

There are two kinds of people in this world.. those who love Jersey Shore, and those who despise it. I happen to proudly be part of the former. I also happen to be a big fan of "DJ Pauly D" DelVecchio. And for that reason, I am super excited that he may have his own spin-off: "Pauly's World."

So why do I like Pauly the most out of the Jersey Shore cast?

1. I find him attractive. Anyone who knows me, knows I am attracted to tan, buff guys. He fits my "type" pretty well. And he doesn't look like he was bashed in the face with an ugly stick *cough*TheSituation*cough*

2. I dig his tattoos and piercings. I think his tattoos fit him, and he has a pierced dick. COOL AS FUCK (probably because I too pierced my dick, and I aspire to use my body as a canvas - once I figure out what exactly I want tattooed on me).

3. He is a frickin DJ. I have never seen him live, so I cannot comment on his skill level. But I will give him the benefit of the doubt and assume he knows what he is doing. Until I see him perform, I will refuse to believe he may not be deserving of his nominations for "America's Best DJ" two years in a row, or his residency in Vegas. He also gets to perform at frickin DISNEYLAND for Grad Night 2011! I almost want to pretend to be a high school student again just to see him spin at the happiest place on earth.

4. He has his own song. Even though "Beat Dat Beat," is nothing special... I still find it an entertainingly guilty pleasure. I wish I had my own song, no matter how stupid or poorly produced.



5. And lastly, he seems like he is a pretty chill, down-to-earth, good guy. Of course, I base this solely from how MTV portrays him on Jersey Shore, but still.. + points.

Anyway, they filmed a pilot episode portraying his life in Rhode Island and his DJ career. The spin-off is optioned by MTV, meaning it is not officially guaranteed to air, but I'm crossing my fingers people will like it, and then it will take off. Until then, I will be content stalking him on twitter and watching him on Season 3 of Jersey Shore, which airs Thursday Jersday January 6th, 2011.

Drive Safely

I tend to like dark, graphic tragedies, so I decided to share a pretty intense campaign about driving under the influence... especially since I think almost all my friends have had DUIs or haven't been caught.

Yogi Bear a Boo-Boo?

At first I didn't have any interest in a CGI Yogi Bear film. Then I heard Justin Timberlake and Anna Faris were added to the cast and my interest grew.

I have been impressed by Timberlake's acting career, with Alpha Dog, The Social Network, and even the SNL Dick-in-a-Box skit (I'll give him a get-out-of-jail-free card for The Love Guru). And Anna Faris is awesome. Despite her bimbo, airhead roles, she is actually an intelligent and talented actress & producer (I love The House Bunny).

Then I read from critics that the new Yogi Bear sucks. And now I'm sad. I no longer expect the Timberlake/Farris starpower to help this kids flick at the box office. For now I will just have to appreciate that the parody/alternate ending will be better than the film itself:



And Warner Brothers has not asked for this to be removed, which I can only assume means that this is better publicity for a movie they know will suck.

Miley Cyrus Trips Out On Salvia?

Miley Cyrus used to annoy me. Maybe I am just old and don't have kids, so I hate on all these goody-two shoes Disney kids. But then I get a minor thrill when I find out they aren't as innocent as they are paid to be.

For example, it made me smile to know that someone I know has given ecstasy to a High School Musical star. Then there is Miley Cyrus, who had some rather interesting videos of her grinding with her producer. Granted, he is gay so I don't find it offensive, but still the public went a lil crazy.

Today, Miley upped the ante as a new video appeared of her taking a bong hit after her 18th birthday. But no, this was not a bong hit of weed. This was Salvia! Or so they claim... Apparently there is controversy that they are only saying that because salvia is legal and she can't get in trouble for it. So weed or salvia?



Now, salvia is so strange to me. You can go to your local head shop, or anywhere along venice beach, and purchase it legally in California. When I tried it, I took a hit of the 15x strength. They have anywhere from 1x to 50x+. All you need to do is take one hit and boom, you are stretched through reality. Personally, I just felt like my body was being stretched, and I couldn't stop laughing. Colors seemed brighter. It made me incapable of thinking clearly or understanding things, which I remember just saying "I feel retarded," over and over again.

It is beyond me why Salvia is legal here, but weed is not (not that I enjoy either). Even Harvard University has done studies that show salvia can help treat addiction and schizophrenia. Still, I don't like salvia, but it is such an interesting sensation... I'm glad I tried it. I do not see how it is enjoyable though, or why you would do it all the time like while gardening. I can only describe it as interesting.

Back to my point though, I take guilty pleasure in watching Disney child stars grow up. I just hope they stop before they reach the insanity that is Britney Spears or Lindsay Lohan (although I still want to party with Lindsay, as I have friends who have told me stories about when they went to her shindigs and boy am I jealous). But I have hope for Miley that she parties responsibly and I like her more now.

The Beaver

It's interesting to me when I read a script before it becomes a movie. I'm reading what the screenwriter originally wanted. Then when the movie comes out, it's fun to compare to see what progress or changes they have made.

Two years ago I read an incredible script by Kyle Killen called The Beaver. I thought it was an odd yet inspiring script, and I was rooting for it to finally become a film. It was featured on the Blacklist, so it would probably get made, but I was still curious who they would cast, how audiences would react, what they would change...

I would tell you what it's about... but you can just watch it instead:



When I saw this trailer, I thought to myself... Mel Gibson? Really? What is it with casting "actors" in roles that hit a little too close to home? (ie David Duchovny a la Californication)

I think Mel Gibson is kind of a psychotic mess, and I'm actually a little sad his cameo was cut from The Hangover 2. But this film might actually be good for him. Only because I've read the script and I know how it ends. It feels like it would captivate audiences to gain him some sympathy, not just in the movie, but in real life.

Besides Mel Gibson, I approve of Jodi Foster as an actress.. kind of curious how this will be with her directing. But I must say, I am most excited that Anton Yelchin will be playing the son.I think Anton is an amazing actor and I'm excited to see his career has skyrocketed the past few years.

Either way, I'm intrigued to see how the final film turned out. I'm hoping I'm not disappointed because I really did love the script. I'll just have to wait til it's released sometime in 2011.

The Beatles Are Back!

When I first heard about this, I was like… WTF? HOW? But it actually is pretty cool.

Mark your calendars! Sir Paul McCartney and Ringo Star will be performing live at the historic Hollywood Bowl on August 27, 2011. They will have backing musicians as they perform alongside digital images/footage of George Harrison and John Lennon. 

August. 1964. 1965. 2011. Amazing.

Now, to be honest, I am not a huge Beatles fan like the rest of the world. I definitely don’t know all their songs. But I do believe they did amazing things with their talents. I already saw Paul McCartney live a couple years ago, but this digital Beatles reunion seems more promising. And I’m never gonna have another chance to see them together anyway. And it’s at the Hollywood Bowl! For those of you who have never been, the vibes there are amazing and there is not a bad seat in the house.

I’m sure tickets will be horrendous amounts of money when they go on sale.. but it is going to world peace and breast cancer charities, so I can’t be too upset.

Banking with(out) Chase

So today I received a letter from my bank, Chase, telling me that beginning in February, my checking account will no longer be free. This annoys me for a number of reasons.

Firstly, I have had my account for 8 years back when it was Washington Mutual. When Chase took over, I was told everything from my free account would stay the same.. Obviously this is not the case.

Secondly, they want to charge a $10 monthly checking fee. Now, I hate to be a cheapskate, but $120 a year just to keep my money somewhere? I have a problem with this because I never go into the bank to see a teller. I don't even use ATMs. I never withdraw cash. I pay everything online or with a credit card. And i don't write checks so the free checkbooks don't help me.

Also, my checking fee would be waived if I had a direct deposit transaction each month of $500+. Sucks to be me though, as my jobs do not offer direct deposit. And even if they did, it must be $500 in one direct deposit. I get paid weekly, so even if my direct deposit was, say, $400 a week, I still do not qualify.

Another option to waive the fee would be to keep $1,500 in my checking account at all times. But I thought that's what having a SAVINGS account is for... to save money.. and keep money in there at all times. And sadly I am not yet a multi-millionaire and do not have enough to keep my checking constantly at that amount.

It looks like I will have to say goodbye to Chase, as much as I love depositing my checks from my iphone and never having to go to a bank or atm everrr. I am currently investigating my other options. Bank of America's eBanking seems appropriate for me. Or maybe a credit union.

Thanksgiving x4

Thanksgiving #1:

Went to my boyfriend's mom's side of the family.. Since they are Chinese, I had to pray with them and not understand one word of what was said. But I guess half the family there couldn't understand Chinese either. I tried my best not to laugh, but it just kept going and going and going.

The people in my age group ended up separating from the older crowd.. and they all happen to work in correctional facilities or as cops or something like that. Our dinner conversation included all the people they lock up and all the bodies they find. Most memorable image was how an old man died of a heart attack in his spa and wasn't found until three days later (basically he was being slow-cooked for days). When they pulled him out, his lower body deteriorated until his insides dropped out into the spa. Now this might seem gross to many, but I have never had more interesting and fascinating stories at Thanksgiving dinner.

Thanksgiving #2:

Went to my side of the family way out in the wine country of Temecula (not fond of the 2 hour drive).. and every time I go there I forget my dad has a farm. There were about five donkeys, a few mini horses, six dogs, and chickens.

Last time I visited there weren't chickens. My dad told me the neighbor gave him a freshly laid egg TO EAT. My dad felt bad though and didn't want to eat it, so he put the egg in an incubator. And now he has a chicken coup and eats their babies eggs every morning.

My dad also started telling me stories of what he was like when he was younger. Apparently, when he was in high school, he would go race his car and tailgate for fun. He plowed through random people's cow pastures and through fences, even flipping over his dad's car while chasing a guy on a motorcycle. He told his dad the mud and grass came from his friends who were throwing mud at the car. He said back in the 60s it was safe to drive wreckless. And my dad made me feel like a bad kid for going to raves? Ha...

Then my dad slowly started talking about his Vietnam days and being in the Army. Though, he suddenly stopped and said he "can't talk about that stuff." Sounded like he was pretty scandalous with the asian girls. And killed a lot of people. My dad was more party than i thought.

Thanksgiving #3

Went to my boyfriend's dad's side of the family. Most the people had left when we arrived though, so spent most the time talking with the grandma. I like his grandma. She was telling me a story how these people hire girls as makeup artists, but once they fill out the paperwork they are kidnapped into prostitution. And if they try to escape they get a beating and have all their info so their family will be slaughtered. One girl gave her parent's number to a client, the cops found where they were, and they were freed. But the pimp was never found and may be lurking in a neighborhood near you.

Oh, and I got tamales! Best part of mexican holidays.

Thanksgiving #4

Went to my boyfriend's mom's house. More intimate, good food, relaxing, non-morbid stories (damn), and watched Toy Story 3. I wanted to watch it in spanish to see how it plays out when Buzz starts speaking spanish in the english version. But I guess I will never know.

Protect Your Junk From the TSA

I'm sure by now you've heard of the strict pat-downs and security measures taken by TSA at airports to prevent terrorist acts...

There was the humiliated old man whose urostomy bag broke during his pat down, after he warned officials, and was forced to stay soaked in his own urine until the plane landed. There is the little 8 year old boy who had his shirt removed for a search. There was even a woman who recently had an officer reach inside her underwear and feel around her body (TSA admitted they were wrong on this one). In all these encounters, I can understand the passengers' unhappiness and yes I think the TSA is going a tad too far in their borderline molestation searches. I think the new rule should be that only ridiculously hot officers should be allowed to do the search. I know I'd be happy.

Then there are the people who think even the x-ray is going too far. I disagree with this one. Some people are concerned because the x-ray allows officers to see your naked body, or at least an outline. Luckily, Rocky Flats Gear has now made special underwear with powdered metallic designs covering your genitals for such x-ray scans!

Honestly though, who would wear these ugly things? I don't know about you, but I would be more embarrassed. People just need to get over the fear of being naked. Unless you have a small dick, then go ahead and buy yourself these magic morman undies.. I'm sure officers don't want to see your junk either.

The Pope is a Dumbass

The other day, Pope Benedict XVI stated that it is okay for gay male prostitutes to use condoms, to prevent the spread of HIV… but not heterosexuals. WTF?

Now, this is coming from the Pope who last year claimed that he will not condone condom use in Africa, as it alone “does not stop the spread of HIV” and he went on to claim that it might increase the spread of AIDS. But he does condone condom use for male prostitutes because birth control is not an issue for the homosexual (Thank God, otherwise who knows how many kids I would’ve had by now).

Anyway, the Pope’s justification for this goes as follows: He does not approve of “disordered sexuality,” but using condoms to stop infection is a “first step on the road to a more human sexuality.” He still doesn’t believe condoms are “the way to deal with the evil of HIV infection. That can really lie only in a humanization of sexuality.” I guess in order to stop HIV infection we must all be heterosexual and stop using condoms. Or maybe all you heterosexuals should stop making homosexual babies.

This is just another reason why I don’t understand Catholicism. The teachings are so ridonkulous. I guess picking and choosing what you believe in within a faith is how it goes though, since there are always exceptions. Like how in the 60s the Vatican let Catholic nuns in the Belgian Congo use contraceptives as a defense against rape. Very strange, considering the Catholic church is always pretty adamant in upholding that birth control should never be used.

But I guess if you’re a gay hooker, you have a weight lifted off your chest knowing that the Pope fully supports your condom use.

UPDATE: 11/23/10 The Pope has clarified that he endorses condom use by everyone; male, female, or both! This is a step in the right direction.. even though this is a complete 180 on his views from last year.

UPDATE: 12/24/10 The Pope has clarified once again that he endorses condom use by everyone for the prevention of disease... but NOT for birth control. So, if you are a heterosexual who uses condoms because you don't want a kid, see you in hell.

Pay me to have sex with your hot wife? Sure.

Old news article, but still entertaining:

Farewell Four Loko

I think Four Loko is a genius drink. A flavorful, alcoholic energy drink loaded with caffeine that makes you feel not as drunk as you really are? Then the caffeine wears off and BOOM, you are f*cked! 12% alcohol by volume, 23.5-ounce cans, easy to find at 7-11, and only about $2. What a steal.

Sadly, this magic elixir will most likely be banned soon, thanks to the mass idiocy of college students. Recently, nine underage Central Washington University students were hospitalized for drinking too much alcohol, which included Four Lokos. Consequently, these alcoholic energy drinks are being banned across colleges nationwide, and it looks like perhaps altogether.

Now, I totally disagree with banning this product. Why don't we educate people about the dangers, rather than creating a forbidden fruit? Also, why are we considering banning a drink intended for responsible 21+ adults when it was a group of underage kids that drank too much?

My heart goes out to the Four Loko manufacturers, as I sometimes enjoyed their products. (Sometimes = half their flavors suck, but once you find one you like, weeee let the floor start spinnnin!) So I would recommend stocking up on alcoholic energy drinks before they're gone. Not like you can't just order a vodka redbull though, which they have at every single bar these days. Or you can be classy and just snort some coke before taking those shots... it brings the same effect.

**UPDATE**
Four Loko has decided to comply with FDA requests and remove caffeine from their ingredients. It will never be the same :(

Enchanted Music Festival

At first I was not going to use my blog as a personal diary, but my friend convinced me that my life is more interesting than most people's lives, despite what I think. So, here is my weekend recap:

Saturday, my friends threw a party called Enchanted Music Festival. I offered to help out, and my task was picking up a dubstep dj at LAX. I felt semi-weird holding up a sign that read CHRISPY, as I did not even know his real name... or what he looked like for that matter. All I knew is he was a teenager from Wales.

As I waited, I saw toddlers come off the plane running to hug their mommies. I saw a dog get so incredibly excited when his owner appeared. I saw some military guys just happy to be back. It was kinda cool. Two hours later, the heartfelt reunions were becoming trite. My sign did me no good, but I finally spotted a young hipster kid and it turned out to be the right guy.

He also ended up being an incredibly quiet guy, as the nearly silent 1 1/2 hour car ride proved. It was his first time leaving Europe, so maybe he was just nervous?  Or he thought I was an annoying host? I'm hoping it was the former. I think he is a nice guy though. I'm really excited for him. His career is just now taking off, and he is still so young. He should be really proud of himself.






The party itself was good. About 5,000 people dancing their hearts out for 10 hours. As for me, I think I spent most of my time drinking the free alcohol backstage; however, having the bartender be a frail and unsanitary old man seemed to offset the desire for alcohol. When we got our refills, he scooped ice into our cups straight from the cooler. He noticed the ice chunks were too big, so he dug it out with his hands, crushed it on the table, and slid the crushed ice off the counter and back into our cups. Then he proceeded to serve me vodka and coca cola. Vodka and coke?! Really? Jack and coke maybe. Or vodka and cranberry. All the necessary ingredients were right there and he chooses vodka and coke?! (Un)Luckily, we were drunk enough to not mind and to keep coming back for drink after drink. And tip. In retrospect, I feel disgusting now.

There was a lot of great talent at the event, a few international djs. I had an awesome time dancing on stage to Brennan Heart. Although, his hard dance / hardstyle seems to be an acquired taste... as I have friends who compare that genre to the sound of "killing kittens." And for those of you unfamiliar with electronic acts, here's the Enchanted trailer which does a good job of educating you about the artists:




But good times were had. The party was poppin. And that was my weekend.

Delicious Cancer Sticks

So the new FDA tobacco warning labels are causing quite a stir of controversy apparently.

Some people say they are too graphic. Then there is me, and I really don't think they are graphic enough.

U.S. warning label

I confess I am a social smoker. I work in clubs and festivals every other night though, so my "social smoking" can easily average everyday. Recently, I've been on a health kick, and tried to stop altogether. Now I smoke one cigarette, once a week, while slightly intoxicated of course.

I know it is bad, and is a preventable cause of death... but really, 10 years off my life does not phase me now. When I'm 80, I'll probably be old and ugly and over life. And I'll know the quality of my life was enjoyed to the fullest. I know I'll have had more experiences than the average person.

Smoking doesn't seem so bad because the damage is on the inside. If my face turned black with every cigarette I had (as my lungs do), you can bet I'd quit that shit real quick. I guess for superficial people like myself, the graphic depictions on cigarette packs are what we need to deter us.

I honestly don't think the U.S. warnings are that bad though. They are truthful, and I think you should be forced to learn the truth if you want to be a smoker. And when compared to the warning labels in places like Brazil... our labels look like kid packaging.

Brazil warning labels

If you can't handle the truth, then maybe you shouldn't be smoking. I definitely can handle it though, and will continue to thoroughly enjoy my cigarette a week.

NPH is God

I don’t really get “star-struck,” likely because I know these so-called “celebrities” are just normal people. This past year I’ve ran into Kirsten Dunst at an Arcade Fire show, Cory Monteith at the Troubadour, Michael Rosenbaum at the Wiltern, and I accidentally bumped into Brittany Snow on set…  but it doesn’t really phase me. Yet, sometimes I still pull out my phone and snap a picture, because I think that’s what most people would do. Then I feel like a stalker and delete the picture because I really don’t know these strangers.

BUT I realized that if I were to bump into THE Neil Patrick Harris, I might just pee my pants. And this is why I idolize him:

He can be referred to as NPH. I can only dream that my status will be so high that I can simply use my initials, and people will know the awesomeness that is me.

He has the best roles… everrr. Doogie Howser! The hilarious, womanizing Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother! Playing himself in Harold & Kumar as a nypho-druggie! Amazing guest appearances on fun shows like Glee! Dr. Horrible in Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog! And my favorite, the voice of Steve in Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs! I think the inner-actor in me would love to have a resume such as this. And if you are unfamiliar with any of the aforementioned titles, I don’t think we can be friends.

He is a frickin magician. Like really. Like he serves on the Board of Directors of Hollywood’s Magic Castle. There’s no way I’ll ever be as cool as him.

He is an openly gay man. Now, I don’t idolize him because he is gay, but I admire that he can play straight roles without question. Also, when I think of NPH, labeling him “gay” isn’t my first thought, and I like that. I have so many gay friends and being gay is their identity. They only go to gay clubs and only have gay friends. I’m gay, and I can definitely say I prefer straight clubs and straight friends. But being gay and not being defined by it is something I hold high.

And lastly, if you go to Disney’s California Adventure and ride California Screamin’, NPH does the new voice-over that counts down just before launch! Disney is amazeballs and to have your voice on a ride would definitely be an achievement.

So there you have it… the reasons for my man-crush on NHP. And some more reasons HERE.

P.S. I’ve had people tell me that I can’t have man-crushes, as I am gay; however, I speculate that I would get a feeling that I can only compare to a giddy school-girl-crush, but with no sexual attraction whatsoever. Hence, this is not a crush, but a man-crush.