Earthquakes, Tsunamis, & Radiation... Oh, My!

I will refrain from explaining the catastrophic events taking place in Japan at the moment, because I'd like to think the few people who do read my blog are educated enough to know all this. But I has a few other tangents to discuss about all this ish.

So Gilbert Gottfried got fired from Aflac (he does the voice of the duck) because he made some (insensitive?) Japan jokes via twitter. I understand that people think we're supposed to be praying to our gods, or donating money to the red cross, or giving our condolences at this time... but they were just jokes. I am a huge fan of ill-timed, too-soon jabs, and I don't understand how he can be fired from a job for his personal comments.

His jokes, which have since been deleted, were kind of funny to me: "Japan is really advanced. They don't go to the beach. The beach comes to them." or "I just split up with my girlfriend, but like the Japanese say, 'They'll be another one floating by any minute now.'"

Anyway, my condolences to Gilbert Gottfried, who I will always remember as the voice of Iago in Aladdin.

My next gripe is with the UCLA youtube sensation that is Alexandra Wallace. Instead of explaining, just watch the video if you haven't seen it:





Now, me being (half) asian and all, I did not find this offensive. I actually laughed. Asian people dooo always have their extended families doing everything for them. And yeah there are annoying, usually korean, girls "ling long ting tong"-ing on their cell phones. I don't think you can call these racist stereotypes cuz these people really do exist. Just like how stupid blonde bimbos exist and manage to get into UCLA in the first place. Maybe I'm just insensitive, but I don't think this girl deserves all the negative media attention. I think she should use the fame to be a D-list stand-up comedian...

And in case you have friends or family in Japan right now, remember AT&T offers free cell-phone calls to Japan until March 31. And Verizon offers free calls until April 11.

I Want To Go To The EDC

So after watching a few hilarious animated videos, I noticed you can make them yourself just by typing your dialogue. It seemed easy and fun, so I signed up.

Basically, everything on Xtranormal runs on a point system. So you choose your setting, characters, sounds, accents, etc... and then you type in your script/dialogue and the computer voices are generated. The video then racks up a total point value which determines how much your flick will cost to create. You get 300 points at sign up, which means I could make one free movie.

I was just playing around with it, and made a video in under 15 minutes. I decided, what the hell, I'll use it and post it to my youtube account. Little did I know that my video would get tons of views! Of course, my video is probably only funny to those involved in the southern california rave scene, but being how mainstream that is these days I guess that's a sizeable audience.



Anyway, in less than two days since creation, I am at 3,700 views. That's more views than all my other videos combined to date... and this all happened in less than 48 hours. So thanks to all the ravers out there for sharing my creation.

Miley Cyrus Trips Out On Salvia?

Miley Cyrus used to annoy me. Maybe I am just old and don't have kids, so I hate on all these goody-two shoes Disney kids. But then I get a minor thrill when I find out they aren't as innocent as they are paid to be.

For example, it made me smile to know that someone I know has given ecstasy to a High School Musical star. Then there is Miley Cyrus, who had some rather interesting videos of her grinding with her producer. Granted, he is gay so I don't find it offensive, but still the public went a lil crazy.

Today, Miley upped the ante as a new video appeared of her taking a bong hit after her 18th birthday. But no, this was not a bong hit of weed. This was Salvia! Or so they claim... Apparently there is controversy that they are only saying that because salvia is legal and she can't get in trouble for it. So weed or salvia?



Now, salvia is so strange to me. You can go to your local head shop, or anywhere along venice beach, and purchase it legally in California. When I tried it, I took a hit of the 15x strength. They have anywhere from 1x to 50x+. All you need to do is take one hit and boom, you are stretched through reality. Personally, I just felt like my body was being stretched, and I couldn't stop laughing. Colors seemed brighter. It made me incapable of thinking clearly or understanding things, which I remember just saying "I feel retarded," over and over again.

It is beyond me why Salvia is legal here, but weed is not (not that I enjoy either). Even Harvard University has done studies that show salvia can help treat addiction and schizophrenia. Still, I don't like salvia, but it is such an interesting sensation... I'm glad I tried it. I do not see how it is enjoyable though, or why you would do it all the time like while gardening. I can only describe it as interesting.

Back to my point though, I take guilty pleasure in watching Disney child stars grow up. I just hope they stop before they reach the insanity that is Britney Spears or Lindsay Lohan (although I still want to party with Lindsay, as I have friends who have told me stories about when they went to her shindigs and boy am I jealous). But I have hope for Miley that she parties responsibly and I like her more now.

Protect Your Junk From the TSA

I'm sure by now you've heard of the strict pat-downs and security measures taken by TSA at airports to prevent terrorist acts...

There was the humiliated old man whose urostomy bag broke during his pat down, after he warned officials, and was forced to stay soaked in his own urine until the plane landed. There is the little 8 year old boy who had his shirt removed for a search. There was even a woman who recently had an officer reach inside her underwear and feel around her body (TSA admitted they were wrong on this one). In all these encounters, I can understand the passengers' unhappiness and yes I think the TSA is going a tad too far in their borderline molestation searches. I think the new rule should be that only ridiculously hot officers should be allowed to do the search. I know I'd be happy.

Then there are the people who think even the x-ray is going too far. I disagree with this one. Some people are concerned because the x-ray allows officers to see your naked body, or at least an outline. Luckily, Rocky Flats Gear has now made special underwear with powdered metallic designs covering your genitals for such x-ray scans!

Honestly though, who would wear these ugly things? I don't know about you, but I would be more embarrassed. People just need to get over the fear of being naked. Unless you have a small dick, then go ahead and buy yourself these magic morman undies.. I'm sure officers don't want to see your junk either.

Pay me to have sex with your hot wife? Sure.

Old news article, but still entertaining: